2009 - January 2010
Hmm...pregnancy. How is it like to be pregnant?? A lot of people say it is one of the toughest but also one of the most rewarding times in life. To be pregnant during housemanship must be worst. What can i say? I have been through and survived it. It is really not as bad as how some people tell it.
I remembered the fateful day when i found out i was pregnant; it seemed so long ago but time flies when you are a houseman. I was in denial... I kept giving myself excuse not to do a UPT (Urine Pregnancy Test) telling myself that my period is running late because i am stressed but like it or not, i could not continue to deny when my period failed to come after 2 months.
I gathered up my courage and finally bought a UPT from Watson; did the test by myself and was .......I do not know how to describe the emotions that ran through me at that time - happy, sad, worried, unsure of what is going to happen in the future. All my hopes and dreams of my future became blur to me at that moment. Nothing seemed certain right then. Thoughts of juggling a family and wondering if i will still be able to pursue my studies for my future just seemed so impossible.
Now, it seemed just like yesterday when i found out i was pregnant. After the discovery, i proceeded to get myself a booking visit (it's kind of like registering your pregnancy where you get a pink book for follow up) from the nearest health centre. Did not do it in general hospital (the place i was working) as i wanted to test out the government clinic (klinik kesihatan) and how it was like for the general population of pregnant mummies when they went for their checkup. Turned out as expected, it was a long wait. I remembered that day when i waited for nearly 4 hours before i finally saw the doctor. Phew...it was a long wait indeed. Dozed off a few times on the not very comfortable plastic waiting chairs (at least i got to sit down and wait).
Urine was tested. Blood pressure,weight and height was measured. A group of routine tests were done ie HIV, Hepatitis B screening, VDRL (syphillis screening), blood grouping and a repeated UPT (just to confirm that you are really pregnant). I was a bit upset when i found out i was slightly anemic. Hemoglobin level was 9.5g/dL (normal would be 11.5 - 16.5g/dL). Haih..thinking that a doctor was suppose to be the healthier of the lot but found myself anemic...Started my pregnancy with a weight of 48 kg which slowly but certainly continued to increase throughout my pregnancy.
Me in my pre-pregnancy state.
Finally close to 12pm, i managed to see the medical officer which did a scan for me - my first scan of baby. Baby was so small. Baby was not even developed yet and i was only able to see a small round thing called a gestational sac. Here, i had another disappointment.. Always thought that my period date was reliable but found out that it was not. I was given a REDD (another expected date of delivery given by the scan measurements) and also to repeat a scan to reconfirm my REDD 2 weeks later. I left the health clinic close to 1pm that day. Half of my day just slipped by.
My baby's first scan.
Baby's second scan 2 weeks later.
Coming back to my pregnancy, the first trimester (the first 3 months) just slipped by. I did not suffer from much side effects. Had an occasional nauseous feeling and occasional vomiting spree, an occasional dizzy spell where i would feel like fainting and could not stand for a long time especially during ward rounds but apart from that, it was quite bearable. No one would even know about my pregnancy if it weren't for the dizzy spells. Initially when baby was still small, i made it a point to go jogging...i know i know..some of you must be thinking i am crazy but it was quite enjoyable actually until of course when baby started to get a bit bigger and i felt like peeing whenever i jogged as i felt baby bouncing up and down and pressing on my bladder - then i stopped.
Me and my hubby during the first 3 months.
Then came the second trimester (from the fourth till sixth month). This is supposedly the safest time and also the best time of pregnancy because mother feels like normal except for the growing tummy. I was just entering into my next posting then (Emergency and Trauma Department also known as A&E - Accident and Emergency). God really planned everything for me because as it was A&E, work was in a shift system. I had plenty of time to rest and plenty of time for myself...
We worked in 3 shifts mainly where morning is from 8am til 3pm, afternoon is from 3pm til 10pm and night was from 10pm til the next morning 8am. If we did 2 shifts per day ie morning and night, then the next day would be an off day. I remembered looking forward towards afternoon shifts as i would have the time to go for a swim in the morning. The pool will always be nearly empty except for a few old uncles. I remember swimming 10 to 15 laps each time. The beauty of swimming when you are pregnant is that you forget that you are pregnant. The water just takes away the weight of your body and it is so peaceful as all you focus on are your strokes. It was also in the swimming pool when i first felt 'quickening'(baby's first movement). I was nearly 5 months into my pregnancy and was getting worried and wondering when i would be able to feel baby move in me.
I remember that morning when i was standing at the shallow end of the pool after swimming 5 laps. I was alone then and was taking a short rest when suddenly, i felt a 'kick' in my tummy. I was taken aback for a short moment wondering if i was hallucinating. I started talking to baby asking if it was really baby moving or was it just my mind playing tricks on me. Then surely and certainly enough, i experienced another 'kick' and another 'kick'. It was then when i knew that it was really baby moving in me. The turmoil of emotions rushed through me again and i felt tears trickling down my eyes. The feeling was undescribable. It just stopped time then and there. The awe and beauty of knowing that there is something alive and that the something is living in you, growing in you, and is a part of you is just so overwhelming. To think of you yourself being a part of God's plan creating another one of His precious child in you is just so........I am speechless, no words can describe the feeling when you come to that realization.
Me at 24 weeks of pregnancy.
Being in A&E during the bulk of my pregnancy was one of the most enjoyable times in my life. The shift system working hours were in favour of my tiring body which needed loads of sleep which i managed to get. I did not have problems going for my regular antenatal checkups as the doctors were supportive and i could arrange my work schedule to suite the appointments. My collegues and superiors 'sayang' me a lot and refuse to let me do the 'running' jobs ie send stat bloods to lab, collect blood from blood banks, running upstairs to do ABGs(arterial blood gases) and also CPR (cardiopulmonary resusitation). I know, i know, i should not be complaining but be grateful. I am but being the workaholic that i am, sometimes i feel like an OKU (orang kurang upaya) - no offense to OKUs out there.
Still able to sit quite comfortably to watch Avatar..hehe..
Of course, there is no place where it is always a bed of roses. I still have my not so pleasant times in A&E although it is nothing as compared to the joyful times that i had there. I still remember the nights when i have to work night shifts. It is not the work that was giving me problems but more of the problems due to my enlarging uterus. I remember having regurgitations and heart burns in the middle of the night and i did not know what to do. Vomiting relieves the nausea but makes the burns worst. Eating does not really relieve the burning sensations either and it worsens the regurgitations. I just did not know how to cure myself. An irony isn't it?? A doctor who can cure others but do not know how to cure herself. Of course i was also being stubborn as i do not want to get myself injected with powerful gastric medicines which i could have if i wanted to. In the end, i would just ask for a packet of antacids (gellusil to be exact) and started eating them like candies. But they tasted bitter of course.
Me and my hubby.Note that my face is rounder..:(
When i was in A&E, I used to look at all the patients coming in the middle of the night or in the wee hours of the morning complaining of gastric pain. I never understood why they have to choose those timing to come and i still do not understand eventhough i have left the department. Considering that i am having the same problem that they are having but still working and am also being pregnant at the same time, i really do not see their logic. Maybe they are just spoiled brats or maybe i am more 'tahan lasak' than them or maybe they just feel the need to make doctors work harder for their already so little pay by keeping them awake with these small petty things - i know, i know. I am complaining and being sarcastic but seriously, if only the public knew the kind of ridiculous cases we see. Okay..Okay..better stop before i get sued.
noticed my big tummy?
Returning to my pregnancy, getting a shut eye during night shifts became more inconvenient as baby grew bigger and bigger. Initially, i could still curl up in a couch and get some rest. Then as time passed by, i started to lean on the table to sleep as my tummy was getting in the way. Eventually, i could no longer lean on the table as i felt as if i could not breathe when i try to lean forwards. And as baby grew bigger, i had to sit upright to sleep but that did not last long as i realize that baby was pressing on my back and i had backaches after half an hour staying in one position and had to frequently change my position. Finally towards the end of my A&E postings, the only way i could sleep was on the patient's bed but that is hard to come by as when you are about to lie down and make yourself comfortable, a new case comes - so much for the effort of trying to sleep! Not complaining, i am just merely pointing out the lifestyle of a houseman - in my case, there is added difficulty as i was a pregnant houseman.
pregnancy comes with a ferocious appetite..:-P
Time in A&E passed by quickly as did my pregnancy. Before i know it, i am already in my last 3 months of pregnancy also known as the 3rd trimester. I started into pediatric posting when i was about 33 weeks pregnant. Had to tag there(its a process every houseman has to go through everytime they start a new posting - we work extra long hours and have to do everything. Kind of like an express pediatric posting.) We are expected to know most of the things by the time we finished our tagging period of 2 weeks and be ready for on-call.
Big tummy with big swollen legs.
Tagging was really tiring. Starting work at 7am every morning lasting til 10pm sometimes 12am at night was something that i had to readjust to after the shiftsystem style in A&E. I remembered i would go back every night with backache,leg ache and very bad leg swelling that went up all the way to my thighs. There were a few times when i experienced lower abdominal pain and i became so worried telling baby to hold on til 37 weeks(its the cut off point for term pregnancy) and praying to God that it was not labour pains. I remembered i felt so depressed one of the last few tagging nights because my backache was really bad and my legs were just so heavy that i just sat down in one of the houseman rooms as i could not take it anymore. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and i felt myself apologizing to baby over and over again saying that i am sorry for torturing her and could not give her a good rest. That was the peak of my depression of tagging. I was nearly 35weeks by then.
Still able to fit in the car with the seat belt on.
After my hubby commented that i look round.
Thank God tagging ended. Once off tag, life was more bearable. It is nearly office hour as we work from 7am til 5pm. For me, life was great..=) As i was so pregnant and looked like i am ready to pop, i did not have to do on calls. That was really a blessing to me as i could go home early and rest. I remember seeing my leg swelling becoming worst each day. It would not subside even after i elevate my legs the whole night.
My legs are not normally that big. Its swollen. Crazy huh?
Up close and personal..
My medical officers and colleagues were very kind to me. They would excuse me from following rounds and only join them when it is my cubicle. I sat down once in a while when i really could not stand it but most of the time i still followed rounds as i felt that it was disrespectful and unfair not to. Baby was getting bigger and i could feel that my walking was becoming more and more clumsy. Kind of felt like a penguin waddling. My collegues would not allow me to help hold the kids down when taking blood as they are scared that the child might just kick my tummy and i will just go into labour..=)
Even sitting down looks uncomfortable right??
By the time i was 38 weeks, i was getting restless. Baby was not showing any signs that she wanted to come out into this world. I was getting all worried and paranoid thinking that baby might have some problem inside and i would not know about it. By 39 weeks,there were still no signs of labour. Pregnancy is finally taking its toll on me. At 68kg (i put on a total of 20kg!!), I could not work that well anymore and felt tired and felt like i needed rest. So at 39 weeks and 4 days, i finally took leave and stayed at home to rest before my admission to Seremban Specialist Hospital at 39weeks and 6 days for induction of labour. It was really a time i cherished. I had a full 48 hours to prepare myself to becoming a mother - Finally!! I spent my time talking to baby, praying to God that all will be well. Basically just spending my last moments enjoying the fact that baby is still in me. It dawned on me that life would be different once baby was out and i did not know what to expect; that the 9 months of a creation of God growing inside of me was to be brought out into this world soon. The realization was wonderful as i can finally see the 'product' that i have carried for 9 months but also fearful as the future is unknown.
At the end of 9 months.
Tomorrow morning, on the 27/1/2010 at 8am, i will be getting admitted to the hospital for induction.
"Oh Lord I pray, that all will go smoothly as i commit baby and myself into Your precious hands. Help us both that we will be safe and all will go well. Amen."
Coming up next....' The "BIG" day '
