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Innocence - Another Year End


Let me paint the bed sheet with my saliva

And so the calender has turned November, where the northern hemisphere beckons the year end with fallen temperature and snow, while the people down under are getting tanned at surf beaches under the summer sun. Not so in a tropical country like Malaysia, where it is humid and hot all year long, with the exception of the east coast states in the month of late November till January which oversee the monsoon season.

We don't have snow here, but we do celebrate year end school holidays and Christmas. We try to uphold the spirit of Christmas as much as the hype in Western countries we witnessed on TV (I say that because I've never been to one), after all Christmas is really about celebrating the birth of Christ, secondly only comes Rudolph, Santa and the turkey.  

Nana is the apple of my eyes, princess in my heart, the best gift I've ever received.

Po po loves her grandchildren. It reminds her of caring for her 3 grown-up sons.

Um, so how is everyone of us doing in Bandar Seri Jempol, this rural district we have been posted to? Finally, Peter has joined us and now our family is complete. Nana seem happier and more cheerful with Peter around, for they are slowly but surely forming an inseparable sibling bond...and healthy sibling rivalry. Nevertheless both of them coming together pack double the collateral damage whenever they both throw tantrums, hence the apartment turn "livelier", and that's not even counting the noise pollutions from our heated arguments whenever Karling finds fault with me (again and again).

Po po (grandma) came down for her 2nd visit, and stayed with us for about 2weeks. It was 2months since she last saw Peter and was eager to spend time taking care of him. As usual with Po po around, we always had wonderful home-cooked meals to titillate our gastronomic needs. We would look forward to Po po's every cooking because there wasn't much pleasure to be acquired in a place like this other than feeding on good food. As a result of Po po's culinary mastery Nana and Peter were better fed as their diet featured more variety and nutrition.

I love Nana's youthful smile and laughter. It brings this song "Innocence" to my mind.


Great grandma with her great grandchildren. Its a wonder she could still remember their names.

Hello cousin don't be shy. Let me pose with you for the camera.

Then came a cousin brother's wedding in Melaka. It was held on an auspicious Chinese calendar date. Needless to say my parents flew down from Kelantan as one of the honorable family guests to witness the wedding. I heard the pretty bride hailed from a well to do family and therefore my cousin Adrian successfully hooked up a big fish. Whatever the case, I was glad for my elderly uncle (eldest sibling in my mum's family) and aunt as the timing couldn't be anymore impeccable as both reaching their twilight years and are hopeful for a daughter-in-law followed by grandchild. 

Grandpa and "Shu Shu" waiting for the highlight of the wedding--the tea reception.

Be ku is one of my favorite uncle of all time. I still feel I can relate to him more.

Chi Voon and Phoy took time off from their job and studies to attend the tea ceremony and banquet. It was also a time of reunion and catching up with most of my relatives who were supportive of me throughout my medical school days in Melaka from 2006-2009. My aunts would deliver home-cook food for me while uncles were warm concerned figures always approachable for chit-chat. Even though Melaka is not my hometown, I hold fond memories and strong attachment in my heart for it. We go way back since childhood when mum would bring us back almost yearly during school holidays, to visit every corner of the now UNESCO world heritage city.

This was the place me and Karling spent our (more towards my) miserable clinical years in Hospital Melaka together, before we graduated 1 year apart. We both had our water baptism by Gateway Church here, some of its members and pastors we are still acquainted with until this day. And who could forget, our grand church wedding and equally grand wedding banquet (for my standard) was held in the heart of this city, Melaka Raya, on US independence day July 4th.

Here's a revisit to our old blog, The Wedding that Caught Everyone by Surprise

The tea reception, a Chinese wedding tradition-- my mum and dad giving out big ang pows(red packets containing money as a blessing for the newly-wed).

I'm gonna wrestle you to the ground oh little bulldog, because you make me wanna squeeze~ you.

And since mum hail from a big family of 10 siblings (people those days...were so productive), there will be weddings after weddings of my elder and younger cousins. Each celebrated with equal merry making and sporadic drunken episodes which turned out rather entertaining. There will never be short of a fashion competition among the aunties, majority rolled back the years to appear younger, besides battling to be 1 step ahead of another in terms of fashion trendiness. I supposed palpable tension can be felt among rival families as they measure up number of children each own, as this can usually be translated as fertility, health and financial stature.

On a lighter note, Nana was well-behaved and easily warm up to relatives and cousin. Some who were following our not so up-to-date blog had intended to meet our star in person. Nana was particularly intrepid and fearless that day, wandering and observing her happenings, obliging in friendly faces carrying her up in their arms. When she found soft toys, she would pounce on it, all these while Peter was sleeping in the air-con room. I tailed Nana around while answering inquisition by curious relatives about her, always evasive of overzealous probing into our family affairs.  

Peter was very very curious with uncle Lee's pet dog "Kendo". 

If you would like to revisit Nana's encounter with "Kendo" last year, click "Kendo"

Then we revisit uncle Lee Seik Beng, who used to be our favorite childhood uncle. Known for his jovial and humorous personalities those days, it had somewhat faded through the years of trials and tribulations. My paternal relatives were all residing in Kelantan those days when my Ah Ya (grandpa) was still around, all meeting up every weekend at our patriarch's house in Kuala Krai to pay respect and spend time with each other. After he passed away, they all took off one by one migrating to the east coast city, on the rational that the retired older generation should follow their children who got job offers there.

We rarely meet since then. It was always someone's wedding that brought almost all of us together, like the occasion during my wedding. They are currently scattered all over, England, Australia, Singapore, east Malaysia and the peninsula. I continue keeping in contact with my Godfather in England, albeit e-mailing once in a few months. Up until now I've only traveled to Singapore, Indonesia and India(for studies), still more privileged than my parents who have not been anywhere overseas for holiday. Dad is delaying his plan because he wouldn't leave his private practice in the hands of others.

"Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof~"

Even when Nana looks groggy she look adorable.

After the wedding, it was back to Jempol life again. I was getting tired of explaining to relatives where might this place be located. We have started sending Peter to the babysitter as he approached 6months old. Undoubtedly she would have her hands full feeding and caring for the both of them, all by herself. We paid her good money for the physically and mentally challenging task, Rm1000 per month, which was nearly 1/3rd of my government pay.

On the other hand it may seem she was charging us a discounted price compared to babysitting fees in KL, but given cost of living in this town region was lower, plus a single child comes at Rm550 per month, I feel her fees reasonable. She was kind and dutiful towards the kids well being, didn't complaint when both of them were difficult, neither was she calculative in any matter. Subtle signs showed the aunty fancied Peter more probably because he was more expressive and vocal.  

Having a boy in this family certainly takes off a lot of pressure from me.

Unfortunately Mami doesn't want to have anymore babies anymore.

Yes indeed, Peter is the cheerful charming type. The amount he smiles and squeal in excitement only equals the amount he drools. When he gets enough rest, seldom does he throw tantrums in moody state. Peter is physically strong and active on his hands and knees, crawls very fast when he's chasing Mommy or the ball. His appetite for porridge is ferocious too, and he swallows up fast, delighting in almost everything palatable. Only downside is when my boy lets loose his floodgates and cry, it causes my blood to boil and temper to flare. Everything in me could explode in those instances and it took so much within me to hold back myself while pacifying him.

Waking up on a weekend morning is a bliss. In the master bedroom, we are provided a king size bed and there's still room for 2 more mattresses on the floor, where Nana and Peter comfortably slumber. 
It used to me just Papa and Mami waking up next to each other, cuddling a little bit before reluctantly freshening up for breakfast. Now, our lovely Nana would climb up in between us to "greet" and cuddle with us. Soon after that Peter wakes up calling for attention, usually in a pleasant mood. Papa and Mami then spend time playing with you both in the room, sometime with light bolster and pillow fight.

Playing in the bedroom hasn't been more fun with the addition of Peter

When Peter is bigger, he will run so fast no 1 can catch him.

If there was an opening on any weekend, Papa would usually volunteer to do locum in a private clinic for extra wage. To make it worthwhile counting the traveling time and petrol cost factor to and fro Seremban, Papa would work 12-15hours straight. Fortunately Papa was also given overnight slots in a private hospital, in charge of outpatient and new admissions, where the rate is higher in addition to minor incentives. On a weekend night there will be nothing short of few brawl casualties involving drunk African "students" who were on the receiving end by unhappy locals in bar fights.  

I supposed I worked harder doing locum than I would my day job due to the instant remuneration in cash. I put myself through sleep-deprived night shifts in a private hospital because the rate was the best in town. I couldn't missed out on the opportunity to bring our family one step closer to moving into our renovated new house. Thankfully Karling was understanding, not complaining(much) in my absence from the family due to work, for she knew our combined salary wouldn't even come remotely close to covering the renovation.

My dream car Peugeot RCZ, owned by a private hospital's physician.

Gold and silver, perfect combination for a memorable photo.

Mami at Hotel Renaissance Melaka

Early December, we were summoned to another friend's wedding. Had been receiving a few wedding invitations from peers and colleagues and we had to respectfully decline most due to family commitment. This particular one, however, was held in Renaissance Hotel, Melaka(again), by a church friend who hailed from a family consisting of all doctors, which were her father and 3 other siblings. Hmmm, personally I would think long and hard before sending all my children to medical school, unless it was truly God's command. By the way her new husband drove a Porsche so, this is me being satirical, rich husband, big fish.

Me and Karling made that trip down Melaka our long overdue dating trip. The wife should eventually, if not always, be pleased lest one should face the outcome of her wrath, or cold shoulders. Couldn't have made her dream come true if it weren't for Aunty who agreed to babysit our children overnight. Papa and Mami were grateful for the opportunity given and made the most out of it, spending quality time together. The next day we were relieved when babysitter told us Nana and Peter slept soundly throughout the night, so did Papa and Mami.

Mami always wanted to look cool in boots.

Do-It-Yourself (DIY) painting, featuring Papa as Nana & Peter's superhero.

As I come to the last blog of the year, reflecting back I feel 2011 has swiftly passed me by. Work and the pursuit of better life must have clouded my one true goal which is keeping the family happy. I must have neglected my faith as well since leaving Seremban for BSJ. Could have done more to express myself that I love them, but actions come hard and I'm still working on it. In the next year, I pray I would be blessed with wealth and prosperity. After we have gathered enough funds to move in to our completely-equipped new house, I would be done with locum job and focus on my career, and family.

I have to sort out myself, while learning from trials and mistakes, gathering wisdom and maturity along the way to be more pleasing to God, and passing on my experience to the better parts of me, Nana and Peter. My new year resolution, treat my wife with more love, spend more time with Nana watching her grow, and be more patience with Peter. Struggle to hold on to God and never let Him go, despite how far I've fallen from His grace, will always have to find my way back.  

 Blessed new year everyone, may you live your lives by the day and live them to the fullest!!

Post Christmas lunch at Italiannes to feed the weary and hungry.

The key to a woman's heart is also through food.
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Ladies and gentlemen, "Innocence"


How To Play with Your Toddler


Being posted to a remote district was not as tough as expected. If we had survived Manipal, India back in medical school, we could adapt to any living conditions. Comparatively, Karling faces more hardship during her on-calls at district hospital(secondary health care) while I work 8-5 at the district's primary health care center. To "compensate" for that I sought locum job out of town after office hour, even on weekends.

Mami must have had some unfulfilled cravings during pregnancy, because Nana salivates a lot.

Maybe Mami had some unfulfilled cravings for me.

Lets talk about the living conditions first. Before we reported we had an option of staying either in the hospital apartment or the district clinic quarters. The latter was a double-storey dilapidated bungalow, with rusted iron door and window grills; termite nests infested, which has been abandoned for years. The warden made no effort of returning it to its former glory. Needless to say we rented one unit of the hospital apartment while not subletting any rooms, so that it would be convenient for our family to come visit and stay (Yes, rented, got conned by our own employer). 

Coincidentally it was the 2nd day of Ramadan month. So we got to mingle with the town folks at the Ramadan baazar (night market) while buying dinner. I supposed the people there rarely get Chinese outsiders judging by the way some kids were staring at us.


Sorry mate, you don't bring anything to the table, you gotta go, and that's life.

The simple and friendly folks at the primary health care.

Lots of Malay eateries around, with 1 particular restaurant selling Western food. There were scattered small grocery stalls and a Giant-style single storey hypermarket selling halal meat and fresh vegetables. For pork or Chinese eateries, one has to travel to Kampung Mahsan or Bahau, which are 8km & 12km away respectively. By the 2nd week, Karling had started cooking and we were eating home-cooked food. Po po's well chartered arrival too helped us to a smooth transition.

 Every morning I would send Nana to her babysitter at Kampung Mahsan. The 1st time dropping her there I was concerned whether Nana would be neglected or given sub-standard proper care. We were promised at least 2 feedings of porridge daily with our formula milk to top it up. Putting Nana in the hands of a total stranger with no prior babysitting experience albeit having 4 grown-up children herself, I had unpleasant scenarios crossing my mind every now and then.

 What if she fell from a chair and landed on her head? What if she was abused? What if the house was robbed and she was kidnapped? I was so relieved to see Nana smiling every evening I go to fetch her. Eventually I grew in confidence with the babysitter as every aspect of Nana worked out fine. 

 Po po came to visit and cooked for us. Nothing like mother's home-cooked food.

 
Oh boy, oh boy, Papa did you come to bring me back?

 
Nana always found it hard to be part of a group photo. 

By the 3rd week in BSJ, we were missing our 3 months old Peter. As the grandparents were travelling to Port Dickson to visit tai ma, another great-grandma (we have 4), I decided to rendezvous with them, bringing Nana along as Mami was on-call that weekend. Peter was excited to see me, I supposed he still recognized me, letting me carry him and play with him. And yea his hair has grown a little, especially the top center part which stuck out like a bunch of wild bush.

With the new baby Peter and Nana around, Tai ma was joyfully entertained and delighted. Naturally old folks like babies alot. On the other hand Gong gong and po po were both visibly worn out, as Peter obviously was a handful, constantly keeping the old folks on their feet, giving them countless sleepless nights.

 
Gong gong, faster pull me up so I can stand.

 
Tai ma (great grandma) sure enjoy seeing little babies in the house, I hope she doesn't eat me.

On the bright side, Peter and his grandparents has grown quite fond of each other within this short time. Po po acquired a better understanding than me towards his biological clock and  pattern of needs. As promised I took few pictures of Peter to show Mami later. I can't possibly imagine what Mami felt and thought about being separated from her new infant son of 3months old.

Perhaps she was too overwhelmed by the intensity of guarding the whole emergency department by herself during every oncall, not to mention the trips she has to make to Hosp. Seremban to accompany ill unstable patients. The whole process of transporting patient, passing over the case, running a CT scan then traveling back takes about 4 hrs. Despite all these, we were both looking forward to the day we'll be reunited with Peter for good, by bringing him over to BSJ... 

Front door to our future home, just..not yet.

 
Mami sure knew how to make papa happy.

Come September 2011, Hari Raya celebration had just toned down. By this time Peter was 4mnths old, and his 15mnths elder sister was 19mnths old. On this particular Saturday Papa just turned 27. And what was this "old" father of 2 doing on his birthday? Working locum at Kuala Pilah. The property in Seremban has received its certificate of fitness and our new home house key has came to our possession. For renovation work to commence, papa had to gather funds in order to move in the family. It wasn't rocket science but it wasn't easy either.

During the one hour lunch break Mami brought along Nana to give papa a surprise visit. We had a mini-celebration at the local KFC branch. Nana looked so much more matured than her age, being adorned in a flowery dress and a matching hairband. She was good enough for my birthday present, I wouldn't ask for anything better. And seeing her licking clean her chocolate sundae cup, rolled back the years to a time when Mum brought me and my brothers for ice-creams at our home-based McD.     
 
My daughter and I, she looked so mature in her dress and hair band.

 
Papa, where's my present, today is birthday right?

Typical work at my primary health centre starts at 8am. Patients will already be waiting, especially the ones that couldn't or wouldn't go to work, dropped by either to try their luck or demand for medical certificates. There are those who knows no shame or self dignity by even asking for extension of  the MC. Oh well, me and my colleagues all had our fair share of hostile encounters with these unreasonable folks, and over my dead body I would never give in.

There were 5 of us, running outpatient, maternity and child health department. On certain days we have Tuberculosis clinic, attend courses, give out health talks at schools or community centres, and rarely cover for shortage in manpower at other district primary health care. Per day we could easily attend to 200 patients, ranging from minor ailments (cough&cold), diabetes & hypertension in pregnancy, to suspected dengue or leptospirosis. The one thing I enjoy there is the tea time with banana fickles(pisang goreng) & kuihs, that we make time for on some afternoons in between seeing patients. 


As the deer panteth for the water so Nana's soul longs for the playground.

At a tender young age Nana knew what she wanted to play and try to reach for it.

Papa, aren't you gonna help me up this swing? I don't know who vandalized it.

The hospital compound was relatively wide and neatly maintained. It was always peaceful and serene with the occasional ambulance siren fading from the distance. The tar road soon became my running tracks to train for competitions. Other than that there was a nice small playground, with hardly any kids around every time Nana goes there. Perhaps time has changed so drastically that most kids are content with their tablets and game apps at home.   

The 1st time we brought Nana to the playground, we couldn't helped but notice she felt a little lonely without any kids to play with. We have seen the way she looked longingly at other children play, yearning to join in and be part of the fun. Me and Karling would try to liven Nana's spirit by playing with her, goofing around, encouraged and cheer her on as she tried new stuffs. Retrospectively, seeing her advanced from standing on her own 2 feet not too long ago, to running steadily at the playground, gives me mixed feelings dreading the day my little butterfly will fly off from my grasp.

Huuhh..I sure hope there are some other kids to play with me..
Then me leh?
But you're not cool enough papa..
Oooh.

Mami I wish you can smoulder me everyday, because you take my breath away.

Mother and daughter bonding is like the ocean caressing the seabed.

In Peter's absence, we spent a lot of time with Nana, giving her our undivided attention. You could say it was well deserved, after all she must have felt pretty neglected during Peter's neonatal period. Nana was our 1st born and will forever be my 1st love, after my 1st love that is. She doesn't typically strike a physical resemblance to either 1 of us, well maybe closer to me, but she potrays the best of both worlds in terms of character. More to come...

Most nights after work, Nana would join us for dinner. After that Karling & I would roll back the years and play with Nana like children. She is an energy ball of animation, cuteness & good sport all rolled into 1. By the end of play time, Mami had to coaxed Nana to sleep even after a bottle of milk as we were both tired and spent. At this age she still wasn't amused with her full box of toys and would rather enjoy herself sticking to us.   

Mami, I will never stop loving you even if Peter is no.1 and I'm no.2

My 1st love and my 1st love (after my 1st love). At Midvalley fountain.

Now, its time to bring back Peter. After 2 months being acclimatize with BSJ, and Nana getting lonelier by the days, we were looking forward to October when the babysitter would be ready for him. On the last weekend of September, we set out on a "rescue mission" to retrieve Peter from his grandparents. Honestly speaking we were rescuing Karling's parents from our beloved son. It would be a heavy burden lifted off their poor shoulders and spine. Come to think of it, I was starting to worry how would that frail skinny babysitter handle our 2 kids all by herself?

We made a short trip to Nandos at Midvalley for dinner. Even during the 2 years living in Seremban, Nana could count the times me and Mami dated at Kuala Lumpur with a palm. Being not in the mood to spend, window shopping ended in a jiffy and it was on to dinner eating spicy Mexican chicken with big fat fries. The last time Nana came here was exactly 1 year ago, to celebrate my birthday. As time passed, Nana's pleasant evening might soon come to a rude halt, for she was going to confront her fierce competition.

                        Haha. Hi there, it is me, Nana's competititon.

Peter, you have grown so chubby. So much formula milk, Mami's milk not good enough?

I'm so "geram" to see you Peterboy (p.s. geram= can't take your cuteness).

Peter appeared chubby and fair, though his skin was tanner compared to Nana's. This boy instantly recognized us all, smiling in excitement squealing with delight, or probably he didn't know stranger anxiety. I supposed Mami was the happiest to see Peter, squeezing her cheek into his and hugging him tightly. Peter was taken care of like a prince, clearly well-nourished, healthy and cheerful. On the other hand the grandparents appeared drained nonetheless relieved to see us.

Nana, stamped in her true class again, not making any fuss whatsoever when she saw Mami giving a lot of affection to Peter. She observed discreetly from the sideline while the grandparents attempted to draw her attention. Nana knew her days of exclusiveness with us had ended and couldn't possibly  deduce any disguised blessings that could come out of it. Little did she knew then, Peter and her would soon become close siblings-fierce rivals-best friends, the envy of other children and parents.   

Mami looked very distracted with Peter, while Po po trying to catch up with her. A dutiful mother who despite being tired was concerned over her daughter.

 Nana: ...........(sigh)
 Peter: Hello jie jie, wanna play with me?
Nana: ............ *_*"

I'm coming home, tell the world i'm coming home~

Looking back at those times we had only Nana, when we were young parents back then, taught me how much to value a child every single day, because they grow up very fast. Its terrifying. Our children's innocent smile might one day turn into rebellious angst; their carefree life would be swallowed by the overwhelming demands of adolescence and adulthood. Worst, their fragile life might even be called to return home before they bury us.

I thank God I was there to witness both their birth. I cherish hearing Nana called "papa" for the 1st time, seeing her crawled to stand then took her baby steps towards me, can't stop smiling as I reminisces the 1st time she put on a dress, when she babbled away during our playtime, the way she smiled so wide when she got her 1st taste of porridge, also sobbing uncontrollably as I pat her to sleep on nights Mami was working.

Now that I'm a father, personally I realized there's no greater calling than this. I'm gonna continue to be close to Nana & Peter to capture some more important memories, for in them I've found my paradise on earth.

How To Play With Your Toddler