A Father & Husband's Predicament

I'm so delighted you and Mami are back, Papa!

After the return from Siem Reap, we immediately got back to our working and parenting routine. While I was nearing the end of our overseas holiday, I constantly thought about Nana and Peter, how they were coping at my in-law's place. My parents in-law would certainly have a hard time handling these 2 impersonation of naughty and mischievous.

Father in law had hypertension and still held a semi retirement consultation job in his company. Mother in law appeared physically frail and has a nagging chronic gastritis due to her predilection for Nescafe, a caffeine containing drink. The only other person who could bring help and respite to their burden was my brother in law, a fresh grad from accounting college.

Forever Mami's treasured boy.

Nana, please don't stand on the chair! You'll fall and break your head.

So imagine how happy we were to arrive back from our make-it-up-to-wife holiday. The feeling was mutual as the in laws were finally relieved of their duties after 4 days and 4 nights of physical trial and mental testing. My heart mostly went out for my 2 babies. "Abandoning" them in the hands of their grandparents, I could only feel terribly sorry for the sensitive Nana, who must be pondering daily to herself where have her Papa and Mami went missing.

It was no doubt a happy reunion, Nana flung herself at us while Peter couldn't stop cracking until he was carried by his mother, whom he instantly recognized upon seeing her face. At this age, both Nana and Peter still preferred sticking to Mami instead of me for obvious reasons, Mami is more tolerant and pampered them more.  

Fun ride after dinner, good to promote digestion.

The race between a horse and locomotive, who will emerge victorious?

The nonchalant look on Nana's expression, as compared to Peter's discomfort and insecurity.

But that didn't mean Karling doesn't get angry at all. In fact, when the kids throw tantrums and misbehave, either one after another or together, Karling would lash out her frustration and temper at me. During those times, I didn't know better, instead of being patient and backing off a little,my anger boiled and we engaged in fights.

I simply felt unjustified that I had to be on the receiving end of Karling's anger when the kids misbehave. Think about it, instead of giving Nana and Peter an earful lecture, I was nagged at and robbed off my privileges. I suppose she didnt agree with the way I subdued the kids' wailing, during which I scolded them and added to the noisy and tense environment.

Keeping the body constantly hydrated curbs temper from flaring.

Let me take a selfie, and put on a royal smile while I'm at it .

I can understand now why Karling got angry with me when the kids misbehaved. Me going the opposite of a gentle pacifier was only adding oil to fire. Besides, when Nana wailed and Peter blasted his vocal cords crying like a little giant, I would lose my mind,literally. I couldn't think straight, and demanded them to shut up with immediate effect by being fierce and scaring them.

Nana doesn't cry incessantly or at a deafening sound as compared to Peter. Rather, she lead out soft sympathetic cry, with wailing, and tantrum throwing. Nana's crying pattern was unique and amusing, come to think of it, made me almost feeling sorry for her being upset. Either that or I would lose my patience trying to seize her crying because it seem consolable due to its soft nature. How mistaken was I, because behind Nana's innocent cry, was a rousing storm of frustration, disappointment, confusion and more often than not, sleep deprived moodiness.

Peter trying to get into the picture while Nana trigger-happily snaps away.

A spillage of water from the drinking bottle appeared imminent.

Peter's cry was, on the other hand, loud and deafening, at least in my context of sound volume. Equally as boisterous as his charming smile and sunburst laughter, was the sound he lead out when he got very upset. The living room in our quarters echoed with his solo orchestra, and it always put me off the minute it started. When Peter cried, I could feel my ear drums clattering and emotion boiling like a hot kettle. I had no where to hide from the sound, until when it became absolutely unbearable, I jumped into action and try to intervene.

I tried carrying Peter and pacify him with my talking, nearly everytime to no avail. He was beyond consolable, Peter couldn't bear the sight of Mami's absence, naturally only felt safe and sound in Mami's arm. The combination of the sound of Mami's voice, the softness of her bosom and her heavenly motherly scent, comforted Peter like Mami was the only person he ever wanted.  

A little girl found lost in the woods, cold and hungry.

Oh, I was just play-acting. Can't help but feel I'm a potential child superstar.

A family trip! After so long. Why should only Papa and Mami have all the fun holidaying overseas? Prior to that Peter was still too small to travel with or engage in any physical outdoor activities. Now that he's 10 months old, we thought he should be ready to experience the beauty of nature and other fun which came with it. Although Nana had followed us to water theme park and swimming pools, none of those prepared her for the challenges of this new place.

Ulu Bendol is a nature recreational park which its waterfall flow from the 2450 ft Gunung Angsi. After Roti Canai for breakfast at a Malay stall in Jempol, we took a casual 45minutes drive to our destination. It was situated at the outskirts of Seremban, after the accident prone Bukit Putus, on the way to Kuala Pilah. Apart from the usual food operators, we were greeted with stalls selling swimming trunks,suits, floaters and other souvenirs.

I am safe and secured in your arms Mami.

During happier times, when Mami didn't need coaxing to join us on family outdoor activities.

Beyond the stalls, we heard sounds of children with their adults already having fun. There were man-made pools filled to the brim from the waterfall above making its way downstream. Carrying Nana and Peter, me and Mami walked a little uphill, strolled past fellow picnickers on the way, before finding our ideal spot then placing the mat and our picnicking stuff down.     

It was about 10.30am and the weather was cloudy, the trees canopy shading us from what was left of the sunlight. After changing into our swimming attire, with both Nana and Peter looking adorable in their miniature swimwear, we tested the water's temperature. Unsurprisingly, it was ice cold like water from the freezer.

The time when Nana was little and Papa had no hair.

Modelling under cold weather in freezing water is tough job.

I held Nana's hand and slowly lead her into the shallow moving water. She hesitated, even tried pulling away. I encouraged my vulnerable little daughter, carried her with me and placed her in the center of a pool, where I splashed some water on myself to convince Nana it was all right to play. With her clenched teeth clattering and both arms held tightly to her chest, Nana was shivering like the matchstick girl clad in snow.

I held Nana's back close against my chest with my arms wrapped around her in order to transmit my body temperature to her. We dipped into the water gradually and it was intensely cold even for my standard. Mami and Peter followed suite behind and joined us, all wishing the water was warmer and more tourist-friendly. Pointing towards the clear stream I showed Nana little fishes and tadpoles, also floating spider-like insects, to which she looked with wide-eyes.    

The more we get together..together..together..

The more we get together..the merrier we'll be.

My little giant ferociously devouring food. Mami looking if there was still enough.

Taking picture of my precious little family soaking in the waterfall against the backdrop of nature was the best part of the outing for me, second only to cuddling Nana in the water myself. I appreciated and held dear to my heart that Nana trusted me in the fearsome water in an uncharted territory for her. On the other hand, I felt grateful and fortunate to have Karling and these 2 little additions to call "Ohana" ie family. 

And what's a waterfall excursion without a picnic to curb the hunger and thirst from the excess calories burnt to maintain basal body temperature from hypothermia. While Nana nibbled the homemade tuna and egg sandwiches, Peter gobbled down ferociously like a devouring carnivore. 

At the end of the day, literally, the kids might not have enjoyed the cold waterfall as much as we hope for, but it was a valuable exposure and precious family bonding time.  

I want my camera to take picture~

Nana all focused and serious in learning.

Selfie was something that only gained popularity perhaps in the late 2013 early 2014. Remarkably Nana honed her skills during boredom even at the tender age of 2. Personally I didn't think it was deliberate, Nana facing the lens towards herself and having fun with the auto-flash glaring into her eyes. However once we started showing her captured selfie through the LED screen, she got the hang of it and adopted the camera as 1 of her favorite past time.

Papa and Mami may not always look eye to eye, but I have the best of both worlds in me.

That's why they call me Peter zai~, I'm a charming and handsome little baby.

My two angels. They kept me grounded. Can't imagine life without them.

I said initially I have a low threshold for tolerating Nana and Peter's crying and tantrum throwing. Back then I haven't learnt patience and soft-skills, I would blow up into a larger proportion in order to scare or subdue them into submission and quietness. I raised my voice and scolded them, even aiming objects at them but stop short of whacking their butt, due to their tender age.

At the same time I realized my little rascals could be angels when they were in a good mood, and when both me and Karling weren't fighting half the time. Nana didn't laugh and smile as frequent as Peter but when she did, she personified beauty and cuteness it warmed and tickled my heart. Peter's sunburst laughter was, many felt, charming and handsome. After all, all the males in the Yong family are good looking and desirable, just maybe a little short on self-esteem. Back to the main point, Peter was easily amused and entertained it didn't take much effort to trigger him a happy spell.

The most expensive birthday present I've ever given to anyone.

One day we shall fine dine in a Michelin starred restaurant.

It shouldn't be very hard to remember a birthday that fell on 30th March every year. On this day this year, me and Karling took leave to celebrate her 28th birthday in Seremban town. It wasn't Kuala Lumpur but much better than the Jempol the palm oil estate. Our reliable babysitter agreed to care for our kids overnight, so that Papa and Mami could hang out like old times and enjoy each others' companionship.

I might not always be home alot especially during the weekend, due to "locuming" ie working as part time general practitioner in private clinics, that doesn't mean I neglected the family and not appreciate the sacrifices Karling made to fill in my void. 1 of the way I made amends, apart from many others, was gifting Karling a gold necklace, which look absolutely stunning and eye-catching on her usual unadorned neck. 

Hannibal butchered, then grilled and ate his patients, mostly young and disobedient ones.

When you're hungry, even starters taste nice.

We caught a movie in the cinema, window shopping a bit before settling down in one of Seremban's best Western food restaurant. We have been starved from delicious good food for way too long, hence the indulgence in everything from starters and desserts to main course and side dish. Undeniably the key to a man's (women included) heart is food, for a working mum who made effort to cook healthy home cooked meal everyday, this meal was meant to appreciate Karling's awesomeness of simply being who she is--mother, wife and working adult. 

We were introduced to each other in 2003, on a plane bound for India.

From 19 years old to 28. Amazingly Mami only gets more beautiful.

Seated opposite me was a woman I have known since early 2003. In that 9 years, we have gone steady approximately 6 years then married for nearly 3 years. As we grew older and have kids, Karling grew more beautiful and elegant in my eyes. She preserved the same jovial and youthfulness that made her unique, and became more strong-willed, responsible and discerning. Undoubtedly she was a desirable woman, perhaps the difference in life expectation and principals in handling the children had made us grew apart. 

Cold fresh oyster served with lemon.

Oriental style mixed platter:

includes butter prawns and succulent chicken drummets

After the dinner, we spent the night together. At the back of my head, I kept wondering how were Nana and Peter keeping up. Even when both Karling and I were distance apart from our children, we could never seize behaving like parents. Those carefree college romantic days, when we were truly madly deeply in love with each other, have long gone and would never see a trace of return,

I suppose with the birth of Nana and Peter, and them growing up rapidly in the blink of an eye, we as parents have to shift our priority towards their well-being and future education. I realized the more I harbor hope and expectation of my spouse providing me happiness, the more disappointed and shattered I became. Joy and happiness had started eluding me at this point of time. I could only seek the love, gratitude and sense of fulfillment from raising my kids.

...and still try to fix the 2 of us..

Ice cream waffle, one of Mami's favorite.